i’m in love with two people. one is very fictional. the other one is also pretty much fictional. also i lied. i’m in love with more than two people
Wise words from my mom
This on so many levels, people think I’m a stuck up bitch when really I just expect respect
While I am totally down with girls telling inappropriate dudes to fuck off, I don’t really like how this puts the onus on girls. The way this is framed makes it sound like it’s someones fault, or their failure, if they react to an uncomfortable situation by giggling. It’s not.
The other night, I was at a straight bar, and this dude kept on following me around and touching me. I shrugged it off in hopes that he would just leave me the fuck alone. Why didn’t I tell him to stop? Why didn’t I push him away, or get in his face about it?
I remember this one time a few years ago when I, a trans woman, had nail polish and other accoutrements of femininity which were incongruous with my parsed-as-male appearance. I was at a street festival. Music. Beer. A group of drunk marines pointed out my nail polish, started laughing, and then decided to give me shit for it. One of them started grinding on me as a joke, to amuse his buddies. I thought: “Fuck this. Be a bitch. If he’s being disrespectful of my boundaries, I’m going to be disrespectful right back”, and I poured my pint right down his pants. Almost as soon as my beer touched his useless ass, he had spun around, and lifted me off the ground, choking me. I managed to sputter out enough of an apology that he let me down for a second, and I ran off.
The lesson I learned then inspires the way I deal with my boundaries being violated by men today. The lesson I learned that day that is that if I bare my teeth, I’m far more likely to get bitten.
So, is it cool to fuck with people who fuck with you? Hell yeah, of course it is. If you have the guts, go for it! Pat yourself on the back afterwards. I’ll buy you a few rounds and talk you up as the coolest girl I know. If you don’t, though, if you just giggle and slink away, I’ll STILL buy you a few rounds and talk you up as the coolest girl I know, because you fucking did what you had to to survive that encounter, you survived another day in patriarchy, and that is awesome.
Folks have to remember that for some women, being a bitch is goddamn dangerous.
Not just for trans girls either. So many vulnerable types of girls can’t afford to take that advice.